It's times like this it occurs to me we were lied to by "The Jetsons".
What are you talking about?
According to that show, we were suppose to be tooling around in flying cars by now.
Yeah, well most of us rational thinkers weren't banking on a cartoon
to offer us a viable glimpse into the future of technological development.
Hey, what would you be willing to trade for the flying car?
What do you mean?
Say some German scientist comes up to you and he says
"I have invented the flying car. I'll give it to you on one condition."
Well, what's the condition?
He's not going to tell you.
Then it's no deal.
The guy is offering you the flying car.
You going to look a gift horse in the mouth? Just take the car, man.
Not until I know what the catch is.
Fine,
the catch is you got to cut off a foot.
No way!
Are you saying you wouldn't cut off your foot for the flying car?
You're that selfish.
It's my foot! How am I suppose to walk?
What walk? You'll have the flying car.
After that you could buy like 50 prosthetic feet.
Which foot, right or left?
You're choice.
Ok, I'll trade my left foot for the flying car.
So it's a deal then, your foot for the flying car. You're sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
You can't welch.
I won't welch.
Because the whole world is counting on you.
What the hell kind of scientist is this guy anyway?
One with a lot of free time on his hands
and a foot fetish.
So, then what happens is you find out
the guy is going to take off your foot with a hacksaw.
What?
And no anesthetic.
Aww, screw that!
Come on, it's part of the deal.
You didn't say that before!
Come on, it only hurts when they're taking the foot off.
After that, they'll use a local on your stump and cauterize the wound.
Why can't I have a local before he cuts it off?
Because, he is a sick degenerate that likes to inflict pain.
You said he was a man of science!
You don't think Einstein liked hacking guys' feet off,
but nobody ever said anything about it, because he was one of the greatest thinkers of our time.
But come on, man. Take the hit for the team.
It's a few seconds of pain for a lifetime of riches and zero traffic.
Fine, as long as I get the local as soon as he is done cutting.
So, you want the local?
Who am I, the Marquis De Sade? Yes, I want the local!
All right.
Why do you say it like that for?
It's just the local he gives you, knocks you out and
when your out he diddles you pennie.
Oh, come on!
Hey man, you made the deal.
To trade my foot for the flying car,
not to be tortured and molested by some mad German scientist.
And his friends.
What?
Just when he is done with you, he gives his friends a shot at you, too.
Deal's off!
What are you, some kind of homophobe?
No, I just don't want to be diddled by some insane German scientist
and his friends after they've hacked my foot off.
Need I remind you, this is for the flying car.
It ain't worth it!
See, you're what's wrong with this country, hell, with this world.
You're always thinking about your own comfort level.
Never thinking about the rest of us.
And you'll forever be remembered as the sad footnote in the book of life.
The wimpy little scumbag who could of breached the chasm of becoming and being.
But instead opted to cover his own ass and foot in the process.
All right!
I'll go through with the deal.
I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off.
Then him and his friends can have their way with me.
All for the flying car.
You'd do it with a bunch of guys just to get a car?
I thought I knew you, man.