OK, I'm riding around in this car
with this woman that I'm close to a couple times a week.
I'm noticing she's looking out of the window and noticing OTHER WOMEN:
how this one looks, "Isn't her hair lovely?", "What a nice outfit!"
I said, "Babe, what is the DEAL?!
You're noticing all these other chicks...
maybe... you're a lesbian."
She looks at me and she says, "I wish I was a lesbian!"
Now, at that point,
I wanted to say, "You mean 'you wish you WERE a lesbian'
because, grammatically..."
But I let it slide; I didn't wanna ruffle any feathers.
But, y'know, that sentence, that retort,
"I wish I was a lesbian"
..kinda stuck in the ol' "Laud-lo"'s mind...
kinda gestated there for...
seven, eight minutes...
AND THIS TUNE POPPED OUT!
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great!
I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
I would hang with K.D. Lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike
I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke!
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung
Other things are more important... LIKE HOW TO USE YOR TOUNGE...
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung!
I dare Casey Kasem to play this!
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
But if I was a lesbian, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"
I hate that damned machismo!
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!